A note about my spelling:

There are two things to keep in mind.

1. I have moderate dyslexia and I have some hearing problems. Vowels tend to sound the same to me, and since I can’t hear the difference, spelling them is extra tricky. Most of my spelling errors are vowel related, so please keep in mind that to me appreciate sounds the same as appriceate, and ippriciate. Slogging through spelling is a huge pain in my butt. If you can figure out what word I am intending to use, I consider it a job well done. I spend most of my effort here in being able to speak so that people can understand me, and there’s only so much give a damn to go around.

I had to make a choice- do I wait for someone else to proofread my posts, or do I post them as I go, and make sure that I have high-quality content? Do I pay someone or bribe a friend to do it, in which case I would have added another layer of excuses not to update and delays?

This is the internet, and content is king. I use spell check, and if that does not work… I try my best to spell phonetically. I know that in a written medium like a blog, my words are going to give the first impression and that spelling errors don’t make a great one. Please keep in mind, though, that I am starting from a fairly major disadvantage, and I am trying my best.

Second, I am a recovering perfectionist. If my inner perfectionist gets a chance at anything, it grinds all progress to a halt. I’d rather make progress, because the faster I move forward, the more mistakes I make, and the more mistakes and failures I make, the closer I will get to my successes and goals. Letting go of my perfectionism has been an incredibly painful decade long journey, when I realized that it was going to kill me if I didn’t let go. I still have a hard time not being perfect, but I know that in the end it will leave me so much healthier, more resilient, happier, and in the end I’ll be more productive. It’s not worth the self loathing to try to be perfect. When I start driving myself insane about things like spelling and if my combs are lined up correctly, I know that I need to relax, let go, and realize that it will be all right.

So, I’m brain damaged and a little crazy. Please go easy on me, OK?